Health care for elderly men: Sharing a bed is beneficial to physical and mental health

Do elderly couples still share a bed?

Whether it's better for elderly couples to share a bed or sleep separately has always been a matter of debate. Those who advocate separate beds believe it promotes moderation in sexual activity, reduces disruption to rest, prevents the spread of disease, and increases the sense of distance and novelty between spouses. However, from a sexological perspective, sharing a bed is better than sleeping separately.

In reality, given Chinese living conditions and sleeping customs, very few couples actually sleep separately. Surveys show that over half of elderly couples still share a bed, indicating that their sexual psychology is normal.

1. Sharing a bed primarily facilitates normal sexual activity. Whether it's intercourse for male sexual release or sexual contact for female partners, such as touching, caressing, and kissing, both require emotional exchange between the couple in bed, gradually building up to a more intimate connection. For 365 days a year, most of the time, physical intimacy between men and women, such as caressing, touching, hugging, and kissing, provides physiological and psychological satisfaction, rather than necessarily requiring sexual intercourse. Imagine a wife resting her head on her husband's arm, her hands wrapped around her lover's broad chest, whispering sweet nothings – wouldn't this evoke a surge of happiness in both of them? Can sleeping separately offer this experience?

Furthermore, in middle-aged and elderly couples whose sexual abilities have declined, sexual arousal is slower to initiate, the man's penis erects slowly, and the woman's vaginal lubrication is reduced and dry, creating obstacles to initiating intercourse. Sleeping together facilitates foreplay, caressing, kissing, and mutual stimulation of erogenous zones, which helps to initiate sexual arousal and promote harmonious sexual relations. Sleeping in separate beds not only reduces the possibility of sexual activity, but more importantly, it reduces opportunities for physical intimacy and skin-to-skin contact between spouses, diminishing psychological satisfaction. Wouldn't such a situation affect the couple's relationship?

Even if couples occasionally engage in sexual activity while sleeping separately, it becomes merely a fleeting "passerby" on the bed, with intercourse becoming a "routine." As soon as the man gets into the woman's bed, the wife knows what's coming next. The man "ejaculates quickly and then it's over," while the woman finds it difficult to experience the full satisfaction of physical intimacy and feels quite resentful.

2. Secondly, sharing a bed, like "mandarin ducks lying under the red silk curtains," strengthens the sense of companionship. People spend one-third of their time in bed. If they are busy with their own things during the day, and no longer sleep together at night, whispering sweet nothings and exchanging feelings, how can they foster mutual love, care, and respect? How can they feel the mutual attachment and the happiness of growing old together in old age? If couples sleep in separate beds, alone in cold, hard blankets, feeling utterly alone, how can they not feel a profound sense of loneliness, desolation, and loss?

With fewer opportunities for mutual affection and care, it's no wonder that they easily drift apart.

3. Sharing a bed also has other unique physiological effects. Some scientists, after long-term research, have pointed out that men secrete a special musky scent (also known as body odor) from their armpits. This distinctive odor has no effect on other men. However, for wives who share a bed regularly, it can have a subtle yet significant effect on their menstrual cycle and other physiological functions. A wife's nose is very sensitive to the body odor secreted from her husband's armpits. This special scent, which is not easily detected by ordinary people, can stimulate a woman's senses, leading to a normal menstrual cycle. Therefore, young women are less likely to suffer from dysmenorrhea and irregular menstruation than younger women, and menopause can be delayed in middle-aged women. Furthermore, this body odor can bring peace and comfort to the wife, providing a sense of security and belonging. This is an important psychological need in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and satisfying this need plays an immeasurable role in maintaining physical and mental health. Therefore, the saying "husband and wife share the same bed until the end of their lives" has scientific basis.

4. Some elderly couples are not in good health, and sharing a bed provides the advantage of easy observation and care for each other. Can such life partners be separated? In fact, many elderly couples understand that sharing a bed does not mean indulging in excessive sexual activity. They value affection over lust, emphasizing love and companionship, and vowing to stay together for life.

What is Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH)?

Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), also known as enlarged prostate, is a common disease among elderly men and a common urological condition. In China, the incidence rate among men aged 60-70 is approximately 55%. However, autopsy data shows that 75% of cases exhibit benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), and histological examination reveals that this is almost 100% except for cases of testicular dysfunction.

Like other organs, the prostate gland undergoes a process of development, maturation, and aging. From birth to puberty, prostate growth is slow; after puberty, growth accelerates, and development gradually matures; between 30 and 45 years of age, its size remains relatively constant; thereafter, two trends emerge: in some individuals, it tends to atrophy, with the gland gradually shrinking in size, while in others, it tends to hyperplasia, with the gland gradually increasing in size, forming the benign lesion of benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH).