Men's Health: Understanding Menopausal Syndrome and Sexual Adjustment in Middle Age

Causes and Clinical Manifestations of Male Menopausal Syndrome

Male menopausal syndrome is generally believed to be related to aging, decreased information transmission function of the central nervous system, decreased testicular function, and reduced spermatogenesis and androgen production, leading to an imbalance in the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis. This results in a series of systemic physiological and pathological changes. If the body's regulatory and adaptive abilities are good, this period can be smoothly navigated; otherwise, various symptoms may appear, which is called male menopausal syndrome. The timing and duration of its onset may be related to individual genetic factors, living standards, health status, and mental state.

Male menopausal syndrome is mainly characterized by mental symptoms, autonomic nervous system dysfunction, and sexual dysfunction. Clinically, patients may experience nervousness, irritability, fatigue, insomnia, depression, apathy, decreased memory and attention, palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, and sensory abnormalities, often accompanied by decreased libido and erectile dysfunction. Symptoms of male menopause generally last 1-2 years or longer.

What is the significance of continuous adjustment in sexual relations for middle-aged couples?

Time flies by, and life is renewed through career success and children's growth. As middle-aged couples age, their psychology matures, but their physiology gradually declines from its peak. These changes sometimes occur imperceptibly. Similarly, their sexual and romantic relationships, in both content and form, undergo corresponding changes compared to younger people, requiring self-adjustment and mutual readjustment to maintain stability in their sex life and marriage.

Love, sex, and marriage are the three sides of a triangle of family happiness and stability. Changes in any one of these sides will affect the feeling of family happiness. Many people, even after many years of marriage, do not fully understand the true meaning of the relationship between love, marriage, and sex. Sex experts have profoundly pointed out: "Men achieve sex through love, while women achieve love through sex. Young women consider love a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, while wives consider a fulfilling sex life a standard of love." "On the surface, men love women, and women are loved by men; in reality, men crave to attract women's love, while women crave to be inspired by men's love. Husbands marry to prove their desires have been fulfilled; wives marry to continue fulfilling their desires. In this way, love, marriage, and sex are linked, existing in the daily lives of every couple. However, husbands tend to see these three as different things, treating them separately and striving for mutual coordination; wives tend to see them as one, inseparable, pursuing a unified perfection. As a result, happy couples not only achieve harmony in sex, love, and marriage on an overall level, but also adapt to each other's different priorities from an individual perspective, bridging the differences between the two gender groups." Unfortunately, not every couple understands this.

In real life, men often prioritize sex, believing that regular, not-too-frequent sexual activity is not only a basic need for their own physical and mental well-being but also a concrete expression of their masculinity and a manifestation of their dominance as the head of the household. Therefore, they fear declining sexual ability, viewing impotence and premature ejaculation as major failures in life, feeling ashamed and guilty towards their wives, thus diminishing their standing and authority within the family. They believe that high-frequency sex is the primary standard for satisfying their wives. However, this is not the case. Survey data shows that only about one-quarter of wives are dissatisfied with their husbands' frequency of intercourse, whether they find it too much or too little. But a staggering two-thirds are dissatisfied with their husbands' sexual practices, or at least believe they should be improved. 40% of wives are dissatisfied with their husbands' lack of passion in sex, viewing it as a mere "routine," and 20% are dissatisfied with their husbands' failure to stimulate and arouse their own libido. Of course, forced intercourse rarely provokes resentment or resistance from wives, accounting for only about 7%. These sexual behaviors that displease women are often seen by them as a sign of their husbands' lack of love and a marker of poor marital quality. Experts also point out that among wives dissatisfied with their husbands' sexual practices, three-quarters are also dissatisfied with their overall marital situation. Although this dissatisfaction stems from many other aspects, from housework and child-rearing to interpersonal relationships and financial matters, the most significant factor is the wife's satisfaction with her husband's sexual practices. Therefore, don't assume that wives only value affection and not sex; they often judge the depth of their affection based on their husbands' sexual behavior. Thus, husbands should not underestimate the importance of providing their wives with passion and satisfaction while achieving pleasure themselves.

In today's society, women entering middle age are gradually discovering that love is embodied in sex and realizing that disharmony in sex signifies the loss of love. Therefore, they place greater emphasis on the significant role of sex in marriage and love. They no longer celebrate sexless love, nor are they willing to maintain a sexless and emotionless marriage. They yearn for harmony in their marital sex life. If the husband cannot understand his wife's new, holistic view of sex, and continues to adhere to old habits and concepts, separating sex, love, and marriage in a matter-of-fact manner; or if he focuses solely on emotionless sex or even narrow sexual intercourse, it will be difficult for the couple to communicate emotionally and intellectually. The marriage will be difficult to maintain, and may even develop cracks, creating opportunities for extramarital affairs.

Middle-aged and elderly couples, facing the three essential elements of family life—love, sex, and marriage—should pay attention to continuously enriching, updating, and expanding the content of their love and sexual activities, maintaining freshness as time goes by, and making their marriage more stable and happier.

Every middle-aged and elderly couple does not want a "crisis in their relationship" and wishes to walk hand in hand into old age. Therefore, couples need to adjust their sexual and romantic relationships to promote harmony in their sex lives, prevent sexual dysfunction, deepen their marital bond, and contribute to marital stability and social peace.

Firstly, regarding the adjustment of romantic relationships, as people transition from youth to middle age, the passion initially based on fervent sexual intimacy is inevitably replaced by stable and enduring romantic love. The love of young people is like a blazing fire, while the love of middle-aged and elderly people is like a gently flowing stream. This is a universal natural law.

It is neither as intoxicating as youth's romantic getaways, nor as prone to frequent trips to the park or the movies; nor is it filled with vows of eternal love, constant tenderness, and promises of "I love you" or "I won't lie to you, I'm a dog if I'm lying." After years of living together, middle-aged people have a deeper and more realistic understanding of love. Love, in essence, should encompass mutual obligations, protection, consideration, care, understanding, loyalty, and sexual desire based on a foundation of love. Love is a greeting when your partner comes home from get off work: "You've worked hard!"; a cup of coffee or tea brought to you by your wife while you work late at night; the shared labor in the kitchen, peeling onions and chopping vegetables; the sight of you and your partner jogging together in the morning; the lingering melody of "Husband and wife returning home together" during a family karaoke session. The way middle-aged and elderly couples communicate is simple and unpretentious; "simplicity is always true happiness," like a gentle spring rain, nourishing silently, or a clear, flowing stream, never ceasing. It deepens and prolongs the psychological satisfaction for both partners.

Secondly, middle-aged and elderly couples should have a correct understanding of their sexual adjustment process. As their sexual experience accumulates, most people gradually replace the rapid, intense intercourse of younger people with a deeper and more gentle approach to lovemaking. This shift in the form of sexual activity is a natural physiological and psychological phenomenon and cannot be simply understood as physiological aging. In reality, a successful, high-quality sexual activity is called "making love" because both partners need to "make an effort to express love," achieving complete and thorough physical and mental communication. This includes heartfelt foreplay, caressing, embracing, kissing, and tender, affectionate intercourse, as well as the loving warmth after intercourse. It cannot be accomplished by a young man hastily ejaculating in a few minutes. Sometimes it requires ten minutes or even longer. It involves a collision of minds, a sublimation of souls, a mutual penetration of emotions, and the full satisfaction of desire; its pleasure is difficult to describe in words. In a narrower sense, sexual intercourse carries a sense of haste and routine, a "whirlwind" act by the man to satisfy his own sexual urges. Therefore, it's not an exaggeration to call this rapid, whirlwind-like form of intercourse "masturbation with a living instrument." Such sexual activity might be understandable in the early years of marriage or during youthful exuberance, but it becomes less suitable in middle and old age. It can negatively impact the woman's pleasure and orgasm. Therefore, couples should communicate and improve their approach to sex. When both partners share a strong desire for intercourse, and are naturally aroused, it facilitates full engagement and makes it easier to achieve orgasm.