Health care for elderly men: sexual characteristics and emotional care

Characteristics of Sexual and Affectionate Relationships in the Elderly

The psychological barriers created by various social, economic, and environmental factors are largely eliminated in elderly couples. Husbands won't divorce their wives because of wrinkles, and wives won't separate because of their husbands' poor health. Their sexual lives are primarily expressed through love, with a broader mutual dependence and need. They fear loneliness and need a spouse; they fear neglect and need to love and be loved; they fear solitude and need someone to listen. They are as dependent on each other as children, becoming indispensable figures in each other's lives. Vasilyev wrote in *On Love*: "Love ignited by the fire of sexual potential shines again in the chilly autumn of old age through fleeting memories. At this time, love is a precious spiritual and aesthetic object, a symbol of spiritual and emotional civilization, an overflow of life."

According to sexologists, elderly women all have normal clitoral responses. The speed of clitoral response does not depend on age but on the method of caressing. Many elderly women desire more erogenous zones beyond sexual intercourse. While older women experience greater changes in personality and physique than men, their sexual function is often no less than that of men. Many postmenopausal women, free from the anxieties of pregnancy, eliminate previous tensions and take the lead in sexual activity from the onset of libido to sexual intercourse.

Another prominent manifestation of love among the elderly is their keen attention to the relationship between their physical condition and their sex life, viewing sex as an important matter concerning their marital bond. For example, elderly men are prone to erectile dysfunction, causing great anxiety for both themselves and their partners, leading them to seek remedies and supplements. However, this anxiety may actually worsen the condition.

Excessive worry about illness among elderly couples is also a manifestation of their sexual desire. Many people abstain from sex for fear of exacerbating their condition. In fact, regular and moderate sexual activity under the guidance of medical professionals is beneficial to the health of patients with chronic illnesses. Sexual satisfaction for the elderly not only allows them to experience the joy of life but also strengthens emotional communication and enhances mutual affection. This further promotes the physical and mental health of the elderly and brings greater peace to society.

Issues to Consider in the Sexual Life of the Elderly

There can be significant individual differences in sexual desires among the elderly. Due to differences in physical health, psychology, personality, and the degree of affection between spouses over many years, the following issues should be considered in their sexual lives:

(I) Maintaining Mental Health

Maintaining mental health is crucial. Confidence is essential:

1. Acquire necessary sexual knowledge and have a correct view of sexual life for elderly couples. It is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

2. Have confidence in yourself and prevent the "decline mentality" of old age. Do not be influenced by social prejudice and insist that "I can do it" in this area.

(II) Maintaining an Appropriate Sexual Life

The claim that sexual life affects physical health is scientifically unfounded. For the elderly, appropriate sexual life is beneficial and harmless to their health. Conversely, prematurely ceasing sexual activity can lead to atrophy of the sexual organs, which is detrimental to health. This is because "use it or lose it." Those without sexual activity experience "use it or lose it" and "sexual atrophy." Studies show that elderly women who do not have sexual activity experience greater vaginal atrophy than their sexually active peers. Men also experience similar atrophy of their reproductive organs. For men over 60, one or two satisfying and regular sexual encounters per month can contribute to increased energy and a cheerful mood. Appropriate sexual activity helps maintain brain youthfulness and prevent brain aging. Sexual activity stimulates the hypothalamus and pituitary gland to secrete sex hormones, promoting blood circulation and various aspects of metabolism. Conversely, men with infrequent or completely ceased sexual activity are more prone to congestive prostatitis. Sexual satisfaction in the elderly can strengthen their confidence in life, make it easier to overcome geriatric depression, and show a relative trend towards lower mortality rates from various diseases.

For the elderly, emotional affection is more important than sexual activity. During sexual activity, tender words and caresses are more important than intercourse itself. Of course, the latter should not be neglected.

(III) Combining Outdoor Activities with Sexual Activity

Regular outdoor walks or exercise can effectively promote health and delay aging in older adults. 40 to 60 minutes of activity is generally recommended. Maintaining appropriate sexual activity in addition to morning exercise is even more beneficial for improving physical health, as sexual activity is a form of light exercise. Sexual activity allows the pelvis, limbs, joints, muscles, and spine to move, promoting blood circulation throughout the body, increasing oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange, increasing lung capacity, and enhancing the heart's working capacity.

(IV) Mastering the Timing and Method of Sexual Activity

1. Patients with illnesses should be cautious about sexual activity. Older adults with chronic diseases, especially those in the recovery period after an attack or whose conditions are still unstable, should consult their doctor about how to conduct sexual activity and should never act rashly. Sexual activity should not be the sole or primary way to improve health. Modern medicine has confirmed that frequent ejaculation can cause central nervous system fatigue, decreased immune function, and increased susceptibility to recurrent infections.

Excessive sexual activity in men is also one of the causes of premature aging.

2. Regarding the timing of sexual activity: To adapt to changes in sexual function in older adults, many elderly couples schedule their sexual activity in the early morning when they are most energetic. The frequency of sexual activity should be based on the physical condition and habits of both partners and should be regular. Generally, it is appropriate for men over 60 to have sexual activity twice a month, and for men over 70, it is advisable to have sexual activity 10 times a month.

3. Elderly couples should increase intimacy and caresses. Elderly couples should emphasize foreplay or even use caresses as a substitute for intercourse. Scientists believe that the skin is the central organ of the human sexual system, and skin contact between the sexes, including touching and hugging, plays a vital role in satisfying physiological and psychological needs. Gentle and considerate contact between elderly couples has a therapeutic effect, not only satisfying both partners physiologically but also fostering mutual love, care, and respect.

4. Sexual Intercourse Methods. Many middle-aged and elderly people begin to gain weight, with a rapid increase in body weight. This weight gain is detrimental to sexual intercourse. A husband who is too heavy can be unbearable for an aging wife. In such cases, other positions such as the woman-on-top or side-lying positions can be used. Both partners should experience and choose positions based on their own physical condition.

Physiological changes in the elderly may bring certain difficulties to sexual life. While male penile erection takes longer, it can be maintained for a considerable period without ejaculation. Female changes such as decreased vaginal secretions and vaginal atrophy can cause discomfort and difficulty in intercourse. These can be corrected with necessary measures, such as prolonging the period of sexual arousal, gently stimulating erogenous zones, using lubricants, and appropriately selecting sex hormones. Couples should understand and cooperate with each other. Those with higher sexual desires can lower them slightly, while those with lower desires can raise them slightly, striving for synchronization. Furthermore, there are many ways to express sexual pleasure, and any method that achieves sexual pleasure is reasonable, provided it is physically permissible.

Here, we want to emphasize that elderly couples must undergo thorough preparation (including environmental conditions) before engaging in sexual activity, ensuring both psychological and physiological arousal is achieved before commencing. Impatience and recklessness should be avoided; it is crucial to avoid rushing into sexual activity.